Tawassul in Arabic means seeking to draw close.
Allaah says in the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning): “…[they]
desire means of access to their Lord…” [al-Isra’ 17:57],
i.e., means of drawing close to Him. There are two types of Tawassul,
correct Islamic tawassul and forbidden tawassul.
Correct Islamic tawassul:
This means seeking to draw close to Allaah through
acts of worship which He loves and which please Him; these may be
waajib (obligatory) or mustahabb (encouraged), and may take the form
of words, actions or beliefs. Some types are as follows:
-
Seeking to draw close to Allaah by means of His
names and attributes. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And (all) the Most Beautiful Names belong to Allaah, so call
on Him by them, and leave the company of those who belie or deny
(or utter impious speech against) His names. They will be requited
for what they used to do.” [al-A’raaf 7:180]. So when a
person makes du’aa’ to Allaah, he begins by calling on Allaah
with the name that is most apt, such as “al-Rahmaan” (the Most
Merciful) when seeking mercy and al-Ghafoor (the All-Forgiving)
when asking for forgiveness, and so on.
-
Seeking to draw close to Allaah by means of faith
and Tawheed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Our
Lord! We believe in what You have sent down, and we follow the
Messenger, so write us down among those who bear witness (to the
truth).” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:53]
-
Seeking to draw close to Allaah through righteous
deeds, whereby a person asks Allaah by virtue of the best deeds
that he has done, such as salaah, fasting, reading Qur’aan,
avoiding haraam things, and so on. An example of this is the
saheeh hadeeth narrated in the Saheehayn about the three
people who entered a cave, and a rock fell and blocked their way
out. They asked Allaah by virtue of their best deeds (to save
them). A person may also ask Allaah by virtue of his total
dependency upon Him, as Allaah mentions in the Qur’aan
(interpretation of the meaning): “[Ayyoob said:] ‘Verily,
distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of those who
show mercy.’ [al-Anbiya’ 21:83]; or by admitting his own
wrongdoing and his need for Allaah, as Yoonus is described as
saying (interpretation of the meaning): “ ‘None has the
right to be worshipped except You (O Allaah). Glorified (and
exalted) are You. Truly I have been of the wrong-doers.’” [al-Anbiya’
21:87]
The rulings on Islamically correct tawassul vary
according to its type. Some types are waajib, such as seeking to draw
close to Allaah through His names and attributes and through Tawheed
(believing in His absolute Oneness), and some are mustahabb, such as
seeking to draw close to Him by virtue of all kinds of righteous
deeds.
Tawassul that is bid’ah and therefore forbidden:
This is the attempt to draw close to Allaah by
means of things that He does not like and that do not please Him,
whether they be words, deeds or beliefs. One example of this is trying
to draw close to Allaah by calling on the dead or people who are
absent, asking them for help, and so on. This is a form of major shirk
(shirk akbar), which goes against Tawheed and means that a
person is no longer considered to be a Muslim. Calling upon Allaah,
whether it is for a purpose such as asking Him to grant some benefit
or to ward off some harm, or as an act of worship to express humility
and submission before Him, can only be addressed directly to Allaah.
If du’aa’s or prayers are addressed to anything or anyone else,
this is shirk. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And
your Lord said: ‘Invoke Me (and ask Me for anything), I will respond
to your invocation. Verily! Those who scorn My worship [i.e., do not
invoke Me and do not believe in My Oneness], they will surely enter
Hell in humiliation!” [Ghaafir 40:60]. In this aayah, Allaah
explains the punishment of those who arrogantly refuse to call on
Allaah, whether they call on someone other than Allaah or they do not
call on Him at all, out of pride and self-admiration, even if they do
not call on anyone else.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Invoke
your Lord with humility and in secret…” [al-A’raaf 7:55].
Allaah commands His slaves to call on Him and not anyone else.
Allaah says of the people of Hell (interpretation
of the meaning): “[They say:] ‘By Allaah, we were truly in a
manifest error when we held you (false gods) as equals (in worship)
with the Lord of the Worlds.” [al-Shu’ara’ 26:96-97]
Anything that results in equating something other
than Allaah with Allaah in worship or acts of obedience is shirk, the
crime of associating partners with Him. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning): “And who is more astray than one who calls
(invokes) besides Allaah, such as will not answer him until the Day of
Resurrection, and who are (even) unaware of their calls (invocations)
to them? And when mankind are gathered (one the Day of Resurrection),
they (false deities) will become enemies for them and will deny their
worshipping.” [al-Ahqaaf 46:5-6]
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “
And whoever invokes (or worships) besides Allaah, any other god, of
whom he has no proof, then his reckoning is only with his Lord.
Surely, al-kaafiroon (the disbelievers in Allaah and in the Oneness of
Allaah) will not be successful.” [al-Mu’minoon 23:117].
Allaah states that anyone who calls on anything
other than him is taking that thing as a god, as He says
(interpretation of the meaning): “…And those, whom you invoke
or call upon instead of Him, own not even a qitmeer (the thin membrane
over a date-stone). If you invoke (or call upon) them, they hear not
your call, and if (in case) they were to hear, they could not grant it
(your request) to you. And on the Day of Resurrection, they will
disown your worshipping them. And none can inform you (O Muhammad),
like Him Who is the All-Knower (of everything).” [Faatir 35:13-14].
In this aayah, Allaah explains that He is the only
One Who deserves to be called upon, because He, and no one else, is
the Sovereign who is directing everything. Those things that are
worshipped cannot hear du’aa’s, let alone respond to the one who
invokes them, and even if they were able to hear, they cannot respond,
because they do not have the power to either benefit or harm.
The mushrik Arabs whom the Prophet [an error occurred while processing this directive]
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sent to call were
disbelievers because of this shirk. They would call upon Allaah
sincerely at times of difficulty, but they became disbelievers at
times of ease and plenty, when they would call on others besides Him.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
“And when they embark on a ship, they invoke
Allaah, making their Faith pure for Him only, but when He brings them
safely to land, behold, they give a share of their worship to
others.” [al-‘Ankaboot 29:65]
“And when harm touches you upon the sea, those
that you call upon besides Him vanish from you excpet Him (Allaah
Alone). But when He brings you safely to land, you turn away (from
Him)…” [al-Isra’ 17:67].
“… till when you are in the ships and they sail
with them with a favourable wind, and they are glad therein, then
comes a stormy wind and the waves come to them from all sides, and
they think that they are encircled therein, they invoke Allaah, making
their Faith pure for Him Alone…” [Yoonus 10:33]
The shirk of some people nowadays goes even further
than the shirk of people in the past, because they direct some acts of
worship to something other than Allaah, calling upon them and asking
them for help even at times of distress; laa hawla wa laa quwwata
illa Billaah (there is no strength and no help except in Allaah).
We ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound.
To sum up our response to what your friend
mentioned: asking the dead for anything is shirk, and asking the
living for anything that no one except Allaah is able to do, is also
shirk. And Allaah knows best.
